Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Prairie Dogs of Privilege

Okay, I’ll admit here in public that I don’t really enjoy this. I certainly don’t enjoy this as much as these so-called “prairie dogs”. Why not? Because unlike the furry rascals, I don’t have a place in line at the massage blanket. Why don’t I? Because I’m not a dog. I’m just the guy who allows these furry rascals to live in my house. Hi, I’m your guest blogger today, the husband of the usual author of “Prairie Dogs”.

Every so often, she’ll get the blanket and spread it out on the living room floor. I know what that means. It means that two dachshunds and two pit bulls are getting a massage and I, the loyal, loving husband…am not. She brings them one-by-one and lays them down on the blanket. Then she systematically massages their back, legs, feet, head, neck, and ears. Before she’s finished, they become limp in her lap. It is as if she has somehow extracted their skeletal system. I watch in amazement.

Why am I amazed? Well…when I come home from a long, hard, stressful day at work (earning money to house the furry rascals), I’m tired, stressed, and a massage would be the absolute best way to unwind. What actually happens (and you won’t believe it either), is that she opens the massage shop for them! What have they been doing all day? That’s right…napping in my house. Stressed? Hardly. I work all day so they can nap in my house. When I get home, they are rewarded with a massage. Amazing isn’t it?

She says it “calms” them. Really? Big surprise. I also notice that they get rather “calm” after running in the backyard, or eating a large meal, or…well…anytime after a few minutes of activity. They’re dogs, for crying out loud, they sleep 20 hours a day. Their very lifestyle can be characterized as “calm”. I’m the one that could actually benefit from this kind of attention.

In fact, I would probably be more useful after this kind of attention. With some of my workday stress massaged away, I could probably accomplish a little more around here. I’ll bet I could repair that kennel outside if I were just a little “calmer”. I might even be able to take one or two of the furry rascals and join her and the other yahoos for a walk. Yeah, maybe, but that might require an extended session to be calm enough for something like that.

So that’s why I’m just a tad resentful. That…and I just noticed that Gus is getting a second turn tonight.


  1. You sound just like my husband! The babies are the ones that get massages around here. But I do feel for ya'll, really.

  2. I luv getting petted and cuddled. Mummy does this fer us dawgs every nite. Daddy sez it is not fair that we get more luv then he does.

    Yer pal Dozer

  3. Ahhh a nice massage! I wish I could give my mom one after she gives me one, but alas, no opposable thumbs.